Name: Yulduz Shaymardanova
Age: 20
Hometown: Surkhandarya region, Uzbekistan.
International Business (Sophomore International Student)
I've always wondered what should happen to make the whole world and all people stop. I never thought that this could happen through the effect of a virus. A small particle made the whole world freeze. This is clearly a historical moment, and on the one hand, being part of it is fascinating, but on the other hand it is frightening. In fact, the virus has changed a lot of things in people's lives, including mine.
In my case, I've reconsidered my life's prospects. What was very important to me completely lost a sense. And sitting 24 \ 7 in one room was like a therapy where it was possible to clearly hear myself and my thoughts. I am studying at business school and subconsciously I always understood that business and I are far from each other, but I continued to find excuses and studied further. I completely lost my motivation to study business and there is a big probability that it is because of online classes where most of the subjects could not catch my attention. I strongly believe that no matter what are the circumstances, if the person wants to learn something he/she will do that. And I dive into my thoughts where I realized that if these situations have an effect on my education path then it means that I let it into my life. I could reject it and continue what I did, but I didn't even want to make an effort to change my attitude towards my education, the education that seemed useless and purposeless.
One day such questions as, “What if this virus affected me directly with serious outcomes? What would be the things that I mostly regret? What would I like to change in my life?” crossed my mind. Of course, the first thing I thought about was my family. Living far from parents is a huge responsibility. I am really grateful that in spite of the stereotypical society where I was born my parents brought me up in freedom, with a modern outlook on life and let me study abroad. However, the fact that I am far from home during these difficult times and cannot stand close to my parents and help them tortures me. The worst thing, in this case, is that I don't even know when I will have a chance to see them. The only thing I can do for them is to show that everything is fine with me, that I am staying strong and don’t let them worry about me. I really hope to hug them as soon as possible and hope is the only thing we can trust right now.
The second thing I thought about was my profession, career, and self-development. That was a signal call that I should change something. In my opinion, it is better to stop right now and lose a year in order to change my major and get the education I want, instead of living the life that is not mine. I always was interested in psychology and neuroscience. Even after I was accepted to business school I continued to read different articles, science journals, and books related to psychology and neuroscience. In comparison to business I never force myself to study it. Finally, I decided to change my major and get a qualified education in the field I am interested in.
For sure the effect of COVID-19 was negative for the majority of people, but talking personally about me, it affected me somehow positively. Finally I could hear myself and get on well with my inner self. Believe me, nothing is more valuable than the harmony inside you. I can't even describe what I feel when I realize my real goal in life.